i hereby declare my resumed blogging on each day henceforthwhich brings to my attention moments of pure delight and crass or unintelligible humour. all those subjected to such literary installments shall revel in the jolly nature of such developments as they occur sequentially. thank you.
but before i go…i am currently sitting in the office at JAMN 94.5 FM in medford, massachusetts. a little frazzled. a lot exhausted. and a medium amount delirious.
today began pretty normally, i’d say; i over-slept by approximately 50 minutes, quickly ate a very small bowl of maple & brown sugar shredded mini wheats, banged my jaw on the top of my car door whilst entering la macchina and dozed in and out of a somewhat-conscious state throughout the hour long carride to the northwest boston area.
on the trek eastbound, on a normal day at least, i often observe the passersby that make their way past my vehicle. majority of the highway population are complete characters: the little neckless man with bald patches, wire-rimmed glasses, maroon polo and thin mustache in his clunker-of-a-car that i’m sure reeks of cigarette smoke, or the athletic-built woman in the giant black SUV who simultaneously chats on her cell phone while hurriedly maneuvering her battlecar through traffic, perched in a stiff and upright driving position.
however, this morning my sights were directed and glued to a particular flat red pontiac; early 90s, black detail on the retro body kit, rusted hub caps and the paint chipped off of the spoiler. but the appearance of this devilish motor vehicle wasn’t what caught my eye.
the driver, a frizzy blonde-haired woman in her mid-40s with her hair consuming the entire head rest of the drivers seat, drove her car in ways that truly pushed all of my buttons and rustled my hypothetical feathers (which would be those of a majestic eagle, if you were curious).
to get to the point, this chick was a complete road bizznitch. changing lanes for no purpose amidst crowded traffic WITHOUT THE USE OF BLINKERS, swerving between delivery trucks at high speeds and stopping abruptly to avoid collision, and worst of all: entering a clearly marked EXIT ONLY lane to pass traffic and then cutting off cars to get back onto the main road at the last minute.
there is no way to describe this woman without words such as b*tch, a**hole, imbecile, etc. The list is endless but she deserves every label that is thrown at her. That woman is a menace to society and i have no idea how she has her license or has managed to keep her car in relatively good condition.
if i see this woman again, she will surely get a roundhouse slap to the dome out of my driver side window. maybe then she’ll start respecting the rules of the road that have been so knowledgeably established.
road whore.
